Let the Sun Shine!

I'm working, and it's good! I'm working my ass off; going in way too early and staying too late, spending my weekends and evenings planning, and grading, and researching. I'm young, optimistic, idealistic, and full of energy, so it works for me right now. I can't tell you how I'll feel about working so hard come October, but right now I'm feeling good knowing that all of the work I'm doing is to give these kids an awesome education.

Today was a trying day. It seemed that in one way or another each of my classes managed to disappoint me. I ended up having to send a couple of my 7th period kids to the assistant principal, but they've got to learn that while I have a sense of humor and we can have fun in class, they also need to give me their attention and respect when I ask for it. The good sign though, is that even after a very trying day I still left with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I have a ton of journals to grade this weekend, and I know it's going to be a huge chore, but so be it.

Other than the trying day, life is amazingly going so smoothly. The new medication seems to be working wonders for me. I didn't have a single anxiety attack leading up to my first day of work, and I haven't had one yet. This is probably the longest stretch of my life that I've gone without one, and it really is amazing to feel so good all the time. It makes me a little sad though to think that this is what I was missing out on for 23 years. I also haven't had a crying spell since I began taking this medicine. Things with Hubby and I are great too! I finally stopped snooping into his things and I make the daily decision to trust him. Some days are harder than others, but everyday I somehow find the strength to make that decision, and everyday I feel so proud. I make sure to to a moment each day to reflect on how truly lucky I am.

I've never really been a religious person, but as my life gets better, I find myself feeling more and more spiritual (I'll never be religious). When I think about it, I guess this is the right way to go about that if I'm going to. It doesn't feel false in any way, or like I'm using it as a crutch. I am not in a horrible place in my life where I need something positive to latch onto. I am in a great place in my life, and I'm feeling grateful, and feeling so much strong positive energy, I just feel like I should be thanking some beautiful cosmic source, and so I shall.