My Life So Far

So I did it; I graduated college, and it feels pretty good. Now the job search is on, which I'm kind of procrastinating on and that's a bad thing. I'm just kind of tired and want to relax for a bit. Since last Wednesday I've been running here and there, going to one doctor appointment or another, having lunch with this person or that. Today is my first day where I have to leave the house only if I want to. I'm going to have a pretty hectic schedule starting up again on Saturday.

The busyness has been a pretty good thing though. I got a good deal of money as graduation presents. I spent some of it wisely on clothes for the summer that I feel comfortable in, yet don't make me look 30. I got 4 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts. I think I'm pretty well stocked up now. I thought about spending it on work clothes, and even felt a little guilty, but then I realized that I have had enough work clothes to wear every day for the last 4 months. I can wear those next year until I get my first paycheck. I don't have a whole lot of nice "play" clothes. I deserve this damnit!

Also in my recent escapades have been trips to doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists to be exact. I've been put on an antidepressant and I'm going to both doctors once a week for now. Just saying that makes me feel a little crazy, but I know it's a good thing. I'm trying to regain control of my life and my self-esteem. I want to like me, and I don't want to be sad anymore. So I warn you, this blog may turn into a therapy journal, which might bore you to tears.

And a little message to a dear friend who I know reads this periodically: Hopefully I'll be back to a better version of the me you knew when you lived here, not the weirdly quiet girl who came to visit you in March.

So that's my life recently. I'm busy, but I guess it's good, and maybe tomorrow I'll do some job stuff.