Maybe it's not getting better after all

I have a problem that I'm not quite sure what to do about. I am an extremely insecure person. I honestly believe that my husband is partly to blame. Today I broke down and cried for 10 minutes, because I hate who I have become. I don't want to be this person anymore, I really don't. I don't want to be the mean and crazy wife. I don't want to make my husband have to alter his life because of my own personal problems, but I don't see a way to deal with this. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I don't want to discuss this with Hubby because we've had this talk over and over. I know if I brought it up it would become a huge blow out. Obviously the way I'm approaching it is wrong, but I don't know the right way.

How do I tell him that his actions make me feel unimportant to him? How do I tell him that I constantly feel like I'm never enough? How do I tell him that I've begun to bend over backwards to be enough and it still doesn't work? How do I tell him the secret reasons for the things I do? How do I tell him about the snooping and mistrust? How do I tell him that my whole happiness and sadness seems to revolve around his actions? How do I tell him that every day I hate myself more for all of these things? I look at what I've just written and I think that a seriously messed up person must have written them.

I didn't used to be like this, I used to be happy and secure. Sometimes I really don't know what happened and other times I do think I know what happened. Either way, I don't know how to make it stop. Before 1 little thing was brought into our relationship everything was fine. I didn't really have this big of a problem, now I do. I don't want to forbid it, but if he can't control it I don't see what other choice I have.

I am at a loss and I'm not sure where to go with this anymore. I don't know how I'm going to keep living under the same roof without acting any different when I secretly feel like I'm dying inside. I've got to figure this out.