Relationship Rundown

It's been a few days since my post about my counseling, and a few more since something big happened. On Wednesday Hubby and I finally talked about the big issue. It had been building up in me, and I asked him a simple question and things just went from there. We ended up talking, getting angry, upset, frustrated, and finally scared for quite a few hours that night. We ended up in our bed in the dark clinging to one another for dear life and crying. We are very different people, who sometimes want very different things and when things come to a head it sometimes looks like maybe we're too different and we're not right for each other. It always happens though, that once we calm down and start to talk about things a little more our differences are smaller than we think.

What brought this about was that I said I felt like we didn't spend enough time together. Hubby asked if I really felt that way since we spend about 3 hours every evening together. I guess it's just not "quality time" to me. I don't consider watching TV together every evening quality time, I'd rather go outside to a park or something like that. Hubby really isn't that big on the outdoors thing. He told me he felt like maybe I was just settling for him and I'd become unhappy because he doesn't like to do all of the same things I do, and he's not that interested in books and language, etc. like I am. We both freaked out, but then some clarity came.

I told him that what really matters to me is that we do fun things together to enjoy one another. The best way to do that is to vacation together, but since we don't have the money to do that, going to the park is my substitute. We agreed that starting next year we'll vacation together. That's really all I want, I just want to go see the world together, instead of just sitting on the couch watching it on the TV. He said he understood what I meant, and that he wants to do that too. Crisis averted. In the meantime we've been trying to be more affectionate and I think we're going to start playing more games, instead of watching TV. I think interaction is the key to "quality time."

The other big issue that I've been alluding to was solved as well. We agreed that he'd quit doing what bothered me so much if I quite doing something that bothered him. The funny thing is that my behavior was caused by his behavior, so now we have no problem at all. Last night was good. We got home at the same time, talked for a little bit and then did our own things for a few hours. I did homework, fixed up the pictures I took, and called my Nana. Hubby played his video-game for a few hours. When I was done, he was done with his game so we cooked dinner and ate together, then went to bed. It was perfect and just the way I want things. Here's to hoping they continue this way.