My Wave of Fury

My new emotion seems to be anger. I am so angry. So fucking angry! I just want to pour it out all over Ex Hubby's head. I want to wash him in my angry words. I want to baptize him with my anger. I have so many questions that I feel I deserve the answers to. I want to know why he watched me dangle helplessly in the wind while he "made up his mind." In the end he didn't make up his mind. He was a coward and made me make his mind up for him. I want to know why he's such a sniveling coward.

He wonders why I act so strange when I am around him and I just want to tell him, "Because I'm angry as hell. It takes most of my physical and emotional strength not to hit you, and scream at you, and unleash the fury that swells up inside of me when I see you and your smug fucking face! "

I don't want to be so angry, but I am. I guess it is just all part of the process. I just have so many questions. I have so many things that I want to say to him. I feel that I deserve a truth I will never receive, and that knowledge eats at me. I am so tired of people not knowing what they want, and dragging people into their mess of a life.