The Impossibly Great Year

It's been 3 months since I last posted. No wonder no one reads my blog. That, and it's boring as hell. So, tomorrow will be a year with J, and I still feel the same way I did 3 months ago. Life with him is amazing. I find a new reason to love him every day. Today we ran errands together and had a blast just being silly. We ordered a palm tree to plant in the yard as a symbol of our love and we're going to watch it grow, like our relationship. It sounds cheesy when I write it, but I love the idea. It had to be a palm. I'm a California girl. He spent the last 5 years in Florida before moving here to the south. We have set a goal to eventually make our permanent home somewhere that we can take trips to the beach any weekend we want. We are making plans like that because we are permanent.



We talked a lot this weekend. We are getting married. No solid date. No proposal. Just the knowledge that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, and we'll formally commit to that in the next 4 years. We also want to have a kid. Not soon, but someday. I have never wanted to have someone's child the way I want to have J's baby. I thought I wanted to have ex-hubby's baby at one point, but that quickly faded. J has never wanted a woman to have his child, period.

I think we'd be great parents who could provide a really stable and loving environment for a child. We have so much love between the two of us and I know that would be passed on to our baby. I am so excited about the prospect of what the future holds. I have never been so happy. I have never felt so secure, and sure. I have never trusted anyone the way I trust J. Every day, almost the whole day I just think about how happy I am with my life, and how lucky I am to have what I have wanted all along.

Real

Yesterday marked 9 months of being with J. It was kind of weird to vocalize that, because it doesn’t seem like we’ve been together all that long. In 3 months we will have been together for a year, and honestly I don’t see this relationship coming to an end. Ever. I got to thinking why? What makes this relationship unlike the others, especially the one with ex-hubby?

It’s as if J was like, “Hey! Guess what? There is such a thing as a happy, fulfilling, functional relationship. Here, let me show you.” J has shown me that a relationship is about respect, and partnership, and real love. It is about sharing your dreams and then working together to make them come true. It is about supporting each other, and listening, and giving that much needed hug or kiss or back scratch. It’s about just being together, and liking each others’ company so much that you don’t care what you’re doing, it’s just fun!

It’s about being able to sit and talk for hours about the important stuff, and being able to walk silently and feel comfortable. It’s about being able to be my true, silly, happy, intense self and knowing that he just loves that. It’s the simple, small things, too, like a thank you after the other has done the dishes, or washing and folding the laundry just because you know it will be appreciated.

And then of course there are the juicy bits that I won’t go into detail about, but just say that it’s about being willing to give of yourself. It’s about being comfortable and happy with each other, and the desire to be as close as possible in every single way. It’s about knocking down boundaries because you know that other person loves and respects you so much.

And I guess it all really comes down to that one word. Love is respect times a million.

Don't Pinch Me, Please

J sometimes makes me feel as if I'm living a real-life version of some romantic comedy movie. It is amazingly surreal, considering everyone has always told me that life is not like it is in the movies. I have often told myself that, and then here comes this impossibly perfect man.

Today, after sending me a funny, yet sweet email about how happy he is to have me moving into his house I received another email, this time a formal invitation. I have been invited to join him for a Valentine's Day Dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in town. When I accepted, he replied that I made his day and that he would be honored to dine with a woman as lovely as I. Who does these things in real life? Apparently, my boyfriend does, and I couldn't be happier about it.

My Foolish Heart

PostSecret

It's not my postcard, but it IS my secret. I hope, somehow, he knows without my having to say it.

Your Mouth

I love the way
your mouth . . .

curves
up in a smile when
you look at me.

caresses
my name when
you speak it.

tastes
delectably sweet when
you kiss me.

feels
soft and warm when
you place it on my skin.

jump-starts
my heart when
you whisper the words, “I love you.”

Brains and Brawn

Up until now I had not mentioned a key thing about my darling J. J is a competitive weight lifter. Yeah, I'm dating a man who can lift 621 pounds off the floor. No, he is not a meat-head. No he is not some steroid-ed out freak. He is a highly intelligent man with a PhD who enjoys keeping himself in shape and challenging himself not only mentally, but physically. (I'll freely admit the results of that aren't too bad to look at either.) J has a competition coming up in a little while out on the west coast. He told me about it, and made his travel plans for it a few weeks after we started dating. I had never seen him lift, and he wasn't sure it was something I would enjoy seeing.

Now that we've been dating for 4 months, I've seen him lift several times and love watching and cheering him on. I expressed to him that I would love to go to the competition this month if he wanted me there, and I could find a cheap flight. Yesterday he called me up and let me know that he had bought me a plane ticket to come to the competition. I am so excited!! I love cheering him on and supporting him in this sport, it is so amazing to see the strength of the human body, and how it can be fine tuned.

The really wonderful thing, though is that not only does he want me there to cheer him on, but he wants me to meet his brother, sister-in-law and nephews who live out there. His mom is also flying in from the east coast. I feel so honored that he would want me there for this "family reunion" of sorts. Every day I grow more and more in love with this truly amazing man!