Stop, thief!!

So, I was going to send this to PostSecret and then I decided I'd just say it:
I'm afraid to really love myself because I worry it'll make me narcissistic.
I know it sounds silly, but you have no idea how huge it is in my mind. I feel like I'm stealing a little of my own happiness because of it. I want to try and work on this next year.

I have also come to the conclusion that college has stolen my creativity. Well, maybe not stolen it but definitely re-directed too much of it into certain channels. I used to ooze poetry. Everyday I had a journal with me because so many little poetic one-liners would come to me that I had to write them down then and there or I'd lose them. In 2 years I wrote 3 journals full of poetry. It wasn't all masterpieces but there was good stuff in there. Now; nothing. I haven't written a poem in probably 2 years.

I use my creative juices now to come up with awesomely exciting lessons. I make up game shows for my students, I have them research vacationing in any country they want, I create coffee shop poetry readings for them, but I do not make my own poetry. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching my students in new and creative ways that don't involve the textbook. It is such a challenge to make things fun for my kids. I just wish I could have a little bit of that creative energy saved in a jar for myself at home. I'd like to work on that next year too. My first step is the poetry workshop I'm taking next semester.

I just realized that I let slip what I'm in school for. Yes, I'm about to be a teacher. In 2006 I'll become what I've dreamt of for almost my whole life. I'm also going to graduate Magna Cum Laude, or if I do really well next semester; Suma Cum Laude. This is my gift to myself for barely graduating high school. In 2006 I'll start my career which is insanely scary, but so exciting at the same time. This is going to be a really big year.