7.24.2007
7.19.2007
Zero Tolerance Policy
I find that the more life experience I have, the quicker I grow tired of immaturity. Right now, I am so tire of immaturity. Right now, I have zero tolerance for your desire to act like high school never ended. Right now I have zero tolerance for your whining about a no win situation you have put yourself in. I have zero tolerance for your pessimistic attitute towards my life, just because you are miserable. I havezero tolerance for your being passive-agressive and saying rude things in the context of a joke. I don't need things like this in my life, so I'm about to cut you out of it. Grow up.
7.17.2007
i DO have confidence in this
When I daydream about spending time with my new love, I often imagine being on the beach in the warm sun and splashing in the waters. When I visualize my feelings Isee that I am underwater, but comfortable with it, not scared or drowning at all. I thought this reoccurence was interesting so I looked it up in a dream interpretaion, and this is what I found. It seems very interesting:
It is Mer or mother of consciousness. Life began in the sea, at the depths. Our blood is salt like the sea, and thus we have an inner sea. It represents universal mind or being, the collective unconscious, nature’s memory where all experience is stored. The infinite cosmic mind. The surface is conscious life, on which the ship, or idea of self, floats, but is really supported and surrounded by uncharted depths. To dive into it is to dive into self, to look beneath the surface of consciousness, to look back to the source of life, to enter the womb or soul, to reach limitless mind. The sea shore Is the point where all our elements meet. The sea holds either in its depths, or floating somewhere, vast treasures, all the things which men have ever made or thought of or done. Thus the sea can wash them ashore and bring them to our notice, or unveil them to us.
The sea is also universal substance, the stuff that dreams or thoughts or emotions are made of. Thus it symbolises an aspect of inner life, the substance of consciousness, that takes form as thought, emotion, revelation, depending upon which circumstances are shaping it, or whether it is the spirit or Inner urges that move it. So waves are impulses, waves of emotion or urges.
Water represents your feelings, a river the flow of our feelings and energies, and the sea the whole personality from outer surface to the depths of the unconscious, so swimming becomes an ability to cope with your inner feelings and energies. To swim easily is to have confidence in yourself, and a trust in life to support your activities and efforts. To be at home in the waters is to feel at ease with your sexual urges, ambitions, desires and instincts.
It is Mer or mother of consciousness. Life began in the sea, at the depths. Our blood is salt like the sea, and thus we have an inner sea. It represents universal mind or being, the collective unconscious, nature’s memory where all experience is stored. The infinite cosmic mind. The surface is conscious life, on which the ship, or idea of self, floats, but is really supported and surrounded by uncharted depths. To dive into it is to dive into self, to look beneath the surface of consciousness, to look back to the source of life, to enter the womb or soul, to reach limitless mind. The sea shore Is the point where all our elements meet. The sea holds either in its depths, or floating somewhere, vast treasures, all the things which men have ever made or thought of or done. Thus the sea can wash them ashore and bring them to our notice, or unveil them to us.
The sea is also universal substance, the stuff that dreams or thoughts or emotions are made of. Thus it symbolises an aspect of inner life, the substance of consciousness, that takes form as thought, emotion, revelation, depending upon which circumstances are shaping it, or whether it is the spirit or Inner urges that move it. So waves are impulses, waves of emotion or urges.
Water represents your feelings, a river the flow of our feelings and energies, and the sea the whole personality from outer surface to the depths of the unconscious, so swimming becomes an ability to cope with your inner feelings and energies. To swim easily is to have confidence in yourself, and a trust in life to support your activities and efforts. To be at home in the waters is to feel at ease with your sexual urges, ambitions, desires and instincts.
7.13.2007
Paired
My head cannot reconcile what is happening in my heart. Was happiness always so close at hand?
7.05.2007
The Confirmation Hurts
How am I supposed to deal with this? I was out at a ball game tonight when I ran into the Ex Hubby and the bitch he cheated on me with. As soon as she introduced herself to my friend as Lacey I just looked at Ex Hubby, flipped him off, told him to fuck himself & walked away. After which I proceeded to freak the fuck out. I can't believe it happened. I can't believe I got the truth I thought I would never get. I can't believe it still hurts this much after so long. There were so many things I wanted to say and do to both him and her, but I didn't.
I have to see him tomorrow to pick my dog up from him. I will no be going alone. Penny will go with me, because if I were alone there is no telling what I might say or do. I just can't fucking believe it. I feel sick & my heart is beating a million miles an hour. I just wish I had someone to talk to.
I have to see him tomorrow to pick my dog up from him. I will no be going alone. Penny will go with me, because if I were alone there is no telling what I might say or do. I just can't fucking believe it. I feel sick & my heart is beating a million miles an hour. I just wish I had someone to talk to.
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